What Our Pain is Teaching Us and Why I Gave My Ex and His Girlfriend My Blessing…

As more rough edges of my personality/ego has been polished by the universe by whacking me with painful experiences, I have been more attuned to the voice or calling of my soul/essence/true self/core self/authentic self.

I feel like it’s a disservice not to put these inspiration in writing and share it to the world.

My soul’s voice tells me:

When we feel pain, it’s because our base self did something that transgressed against our very essence/our true core self and consequently, against the universe and its laws.

Because our essence and the universe are one.



Knowing this is empowering because it means we are responsible for whatever pain that comes in our lives, which also means we are also responsible for the joy and happiness we create in our lives.

And we can create more joy and happiness when we live in alignment to the universal laws.

Living in alignment to the universal laws means living life expressing and pursuing our core selves’ desires without hurting ourselves and others or without hindering the growth and soul expression of ourselves and others in thoughts, words and actions.

Recently, my long term ex who is also the father of my son, whom I broke up with 2 years ago called my mom and threw an angry fit at her.

He was accussing me of hacking his social media again as I did before (hey I admit I used to be a person with major trust and respect issues who knew a bit of hacking but I’m not that person anymore. 😜)

(Like duh?! Seriously?? I don’t have a super busy life I have time to hack your account? I don’t even remember you because we have not seen or heard from you for almost 2 years now?!)

The next day, his girlfriend called my mom and sister asking them if he called them plus many other things which I’d rather not talk about.

When my sister told me, I sent them a pissed off Viber message telling them to talk to me instead and not bother my family.

The girlfriend just texted me “I’m happy for you. I hope we can talk soon. God bless your heart.”

Last night, I asked myself

“How come I still haven’t manifested a romantic partner whom my heart desires? What is it inside me that’s attracting this situation? What is it inside me I need to heal in order to heal what’s outside of me?”

And then it dawned on me, that maybe in order for me to fully heal inside, I had to give my ex and his girlfriend my blessing.

So I then texted both of them telling them that I wish both of them to grow happy and in love together and that they have my blessings.

And that although my ex will always be somebody special in my life as we went through so many things together(for 10 years), it was so clear to me that we were not right for each other.

I have grown so much the past 2 years. It’s been an exciting and surprising journey of growth, self-discovery and self-love.

It felt so liberating to do this.

I mean we’re all humans. We all make mistakes. I have my own journey. They have their own. I’m not in the position to judge them, myself or anyone.

And we all can redeem ourselves.

The Fabinho guy I was seeing recently once told me “It doesn’t matter who you were. It only matters who you are now and who you want to be.”

He also said “I’m sure you had your reasons you did what you did in the past.”

Although I have not seen or heard from Fab for weeks now, I’m always gonna be thankful for having met this “Angel of Mine.”

Because I grew so much from that experience. He was just what I needed at the time. His words were just what I needed to hear. He was my breakdown that led to my breakthrough.

After I felt hurt by Fab saying goodbye, I told my base monkey side of myself:

“I’m done with all my bullshit. From now on, I’m always gonna follow my heart. I’m done with all the pain my own bullshit and bad habits have caused me and the great things they have cost me.”

From then on, I have vowed to always do what’s right and what is aligned to my soul and to universal laws.

I felt like it was just right to give my ex and his girlfriend(whom he started dating during our open relationship stage right before we broke up) my blessing.

And I mean it from the bottom of my heart. My ex is not perfect and has his weaknesses but he has a good heart and he deserves to be happy.

And I hardly know his girlfriend, but as we are all humans, we are in essence, all the same. We have good souls/hearts, and maybe a few bad base selves habits.

And as humans, we all deserve to be HAPPY, and to LOVE AND BE LOVED.

I see everything in life as a lesson on how to unconditionally love and be loved.


If you got value from this, please share, and comment.

Thank you. The divine in me respects the divine in you.



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